It's been a long while since I record down some of my dreams in my blog because most of them are short and I would be able to get the general meaning right after I awoke. But perhaps this one is worth mention the main parts due to my recent trials in my body. I have acute sciatic pain on left hip, weaknesses in both calves, both of these long term chronic conditions, and lately the strange urine tract condition.
Somehow in my greatest suffering physical and emotional suffering, I asked God if it's time for me to go home, and this idea would be alright. It's better to go back to Heaven where there's no suffering and sickness than to stay alive and feel constant pain that doesn't kill you. At a few point I did seriously consider if this is an option. There are, of course, many promptings and leading and sharing from the people around me in my life that cared and prayed for me. But it seems I had a part to play in the decision as well. So during the height of my pain, I had a dream that seem to be an answer to my question.
Not going into details (ha, I'm becoming more lazy with age), the main summary is that I was with two friends secretly sharing the Good News in a certain heavy Muslim country. We were caught and expected to be executed. In the process of the capture, one of their soldiers, but appeared more like an evil spirit, used some kind of sharp stick to sting my left hip area (where I have my acute sciatic pain), and said something like "don't think you're gonna get away with it." Then we were captured in a tiny prison cell to be executed. The executioner is supposed to be a Muslim soldier, but appeared like an evil spirit as well. I remember me and my friends all had a different name in the dream, maybe in the context of the dream, we used a new name in order to be more mobile and safe in a Muslim country. Then my friend was up to be executed. The executioner had a gun that had a red target pointing device with it. Then my friend, who I somehow sense is me, that the two friends and myself in the dream are in fact, me. I was lined up after my friend to be executed after him. Then the first friend up there was very bold. He proclaimed the honor to die for Christ, while the executioner aimed at his forehead to shoot. Then as the last moments, my friend bowed down in prayer. But because he bowed down, the red target was no longer on his forehead but above it, so the executioner missed. Seeing that my friend was alive, the executioner was astonished. He said to himself that he has done this job in the past and executed so many Christians, all of them died without exception. Therefore, he said that it is only the Will of Allah ("allah" is the Arab word for "God") that we should not be executed. Since they were very reverent toward Allah, they did not dare to execute us. So later we were told that we will be released and sent back to our home country. It was great news but I thought perhaps they're just saying it and will at the end still kill us. But the scene changed to the place of this Muslim country's border area. Me along with my two male friends were going to get out of that place openly. Then my first friend, the friend that was to be executed first, told the customs his name, then I followed immediately and told him my name in the dream (it's called "Laas" or something like that sound) and they let me go. Their border customs was not like that of a democratic country at all, but there were military people all around that place with firearms. For a moment before we approached the customs, who is also dressed in soldier uniform, I thought they weren't gonna let us cross over. Apparently, they have received news to let three people with our names told, so they let us go.
Then I awoke, this is the gist of the dream. Before this dream the same night, I also had brief dreams or words. I've forgotten most of them, but remember one is about divine healing, and seeing a brother in the dream telling me that I was divinely healed or something.
The interpretation of this dream is not too hard, too lazy to write here but record this down as a memorial for future reference. One thing that I was reminded days later was about this "spirit of death." I had seen forms of this actual spirit being of death way back in 2003 in my Long Vacation dream, visions of Jesus, and also in other dreams in the past 6-7 years. It's not just sicknesses, the spirit of death is of course wanting me to die, but God's Will has prevented and kept me alive in His Grace for a purpose.
I was just reading some of my past significant dreams recorded down in the blog, was fascinated because I have forgotten the content of some of them and surprised how most of them, if not all, had something to do with "healing."
This is the day of pruning, this is the day to take a brand new look into the Word of God, and receive a fresh new revelation from God's Word, into life, no longer just mental knowledge and assent. This is the day that I am reading the Bible like it's totally new to me, because I am reading it more and more deep down into my heart, because now it is a matter of life and death. This is the day to rid of all doubts and unbelief in the heart and mind and return to pure love and pure faith. It is all God's grace and work, I was forced to be in a situation like this, unwillingly but thank God, still thankfully and alive. This is the day to prove His Word and strength, not mine, that is why it is a rest. That is when the miracles will manifest. But the greatest lesson to there is the lessons of love, and the more pertinent this day, is the lesson of genuine, God kind of FAITH.
How is this lesson of faith acquired and internalized is another long but precious story, ie if I ever get to complete it. But one thing I know, this is so REAL now, all the knowledge I've acquired throughout the years and experiences, are only a beginning. The more you know the more you realize how much you don't know. I'm humbled and broken perpetually before God, and Love is still the greatest, at least this is what I learned that needs to work in conjunction with Faith. Of course when I was really seriously considering going Home, you look at life differently. You treasure all those that are around you and those that you have met in your life. I pray, that I will never be able to get away with this kind of love and gratefulness, pure benevolence towards people.
It's the God kind of Love, God kind of Faith. Who can claim the credit?
